


Lift Off

by craple



Category: DCU - Comicverse, Red Hood and the Outlaws
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Domestic Fluff, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 13:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craple/pseuds/craple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We are outlaws, Jason, not heroes." Roy says, rolling his eyes. "If prostituting your worshipful body to the common people is going to get us through the week, then prostitution it is."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lift Off

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having so many angsty outlaws feelings at the moment i can't even.

They decide on who should buy the grocery and who should kill the annoying old lady that lives next door with a coin Jason had somehow stolen from Two-Face that caused him running havoc in Gotham for two months straight, but. That's not the point.

"I am not properly dressed," Kori informs the room at large, tugging at the hem of her towel – or _Jason's_ towel more like, _fuck_ ; this is why they should buy a new towel _that is not red_ – to emphasise.

She has lost three rounds out of five from the Coin Match, with Roy losing the rest and Jason winning victoriously, lounging against the cold tiles floor in a wifebeater and boxers the moment victory is clearly within grasp. Roy begins stripping an article of clothing as well.

"A woman who is not properly dressed should not be told to buy groceries, least she breaks several laws of public indecency, and the two of you will be charged as the provocateurs."

Jason makes a face. Roy makes a point by taking off his pants. What point is that Kori does not know. She narrows her eyes at him and throws one of Jason's black sharp metal-thingy ("It's called batarang, Kori, how many times do I have to tell you – no, you know what, don't answer that question, Jesus.") at Roy's way.

It misses his forehead by a long shot, but she manages to cut a short lock of his hair with it and breaks the terrible antique vase above Roy's head. Kori is not proud enough not to cackle. Jason outright laughs at the pieces of porcelain falling to Roy's hair because it's _Jason_.

He grins at her when Roy almost sits his bare backside on one of the larger pieces and Kori grins back, dumping herself on his lap.

"Besides, the ladies will not be displeased by the sight of your arse." At Roy's understandably frightened expression, she adds, "You have a lovely arse," and feels rather proud when Jason laughs into her collarbone and cards his fingers through her hair.

"If it's the matter of whose arse is lovelier, then shouldn't Jason be the one to go?" Roy asks, grumbling as he pulls his pants up his waist. Jason tilts their bodies together to follow the motion, sighing in disappointment at the same time when said lovely arse disappears from view. "I mean, if I go out there, the cops will be chasing me down the street, man."

"And you don't think they will chase _me_ down the street?" Kori squirms on his lap to make some space between their bodies. Examines the tight stretch of the white wifebeater around Jason's chest, the obscene equally tight navy blue boxers around his waist, his thighs, _especially_ his thighs.

She purses her lips. It's Jason's turn to narrow his eyes at her. "You're planning to side with Roy aren't you."

"Well," she starts to say, but Roy launches himself across the table before she can continue, cutting her off; "You're more decent than either one of us. And I'm positive – not just pretty sure, because I am a good friend indeed – that the ladies, old and the new, will definitely be pleased at the sight of your everything, and the gentlemen will, probably, be staring slack-jawed at the sight of your thighs and reconsider their sexuality instead."

Kori hums her agreement into Jason's slick-salt skin as Roy slips their wallet into Jason's side pocket. "Think of it this way: we'll get discounts since the clerk store is half in love with you, possibly more discounts than ever at the sight of your sweaty gleaming glorious body –"

"She's _seventeen_ , Jesus Christ –"

"Never stopped you from jumping Timothy Drake before." Kori says, to which Jason's entire body _flushes_ in response, and Roy laughs against Jason's shoulder blade.

"Well, the state of her jail bait-ness and the fact she totally wants your glorious manly part between her legs, we will still get a big discount out of it and you will be free out of the pervert cops' clutches."

"From this moment onward, I am banning you from saying 'glorious' and 'pervert' and 'cops' and 'clutches' in the same sentence. It is that or your tongue. Also, I cannot believe you guys are willing to prostitute me for a discount."

"It is a big discount, Jason." Kori tells him seriously. "And it is not prostitution if... well, okay, it is prostitution."

Jason makes another adorably offended face. "You could have sweeten that sentence for me to agree."

"We are outlaws, Jason, not heroes." Roy says, rolling his eyes. "If prostituting your worshipful body to the common people is going to get us through the week, then prostitution it is."

"Why are we even talking about this, why are you guys straddling my thighs, I need new friends, I can't even." His voice is resigned though, so they know Jason will go either way. Kori and Roy high-five and take the coin from the tabletop.

"Yes. Now that the grocery is out of the way, shall we flip the coin and see who shall kill the old lady next door?"


End file.
